“Black Is The Color of the Cosmos," was the theme for the 2022 CNP Summit, held virtually on Saturday and Sunday, March 19 and 20. In framing this year’s Summit, CNP offered the following quote to describe the work at hand; “So often, we’ve looked to the past, but where our liberation lies is in our future. This summit is for us to prepare for the movement of tomorrow.” While there is much within this quote to unpack, what resonates most with me is the pointed emphasis on the importance of preparation for [the movement of] tomorrow. In the simplest of ways, it all boils down to one significant point we’ve all seen and heard demonstrated time and time again; representation matters. 

However, when it comes to the lives of Black queer people (and Black gay men in particular), there’s far more nuance and context to consider, simply because of how our existence has always been toyed with. Our Black gay lives have almost always had an ongoing (and extremely toxic) relationship with silence, shame, secrecy, and fear. Thankfully, that is why organizations like CNP and so many others exist; to combat such pointed attempts at erasure and humiliation, while ensuring that none of those attempts are successful in trying to dim our light or silence us, as they are structurally intended to do.  

Largely consisting of CNP’s 2022 Narrative Justice Working Group Members and other guests, there was a palpable energy present among all of us that could be felt from the moment it all began, even in a virtual format. Considering how we’ve all had to adapt and bend to the quips of technology and virtual meeting spaces due to COVID-19, executing a virtual Summit on Zoom over two days (in three-hour time blocks) is no small feat. As someone who also had the opportunity to be involved as a session presenter, I’m still fascinated by the way CNP’s tightly knit team managed such a huge undertaking virtually. 

Day One

After a warm welcome from CNP Executive Director Charles Stephens and a quick ice-breaker activity, we began day one. As part of the registration process weeks before the Summit, we were each asked to select one of two different presentations to participate in, which allowed us to be divided into separate virtual groups in breakout rooms. It’s important to note here that even in the naming of the breakout rooms, there was an intentional honoring of four Black gay men and their legacies; Louis Graham, Joe Simmons, Samuel Delany, and Carl Bean, all of whom are sacred and significant, to say the least. The first six presentations on day one were varied, covering a wide range of relevant topics including: “The Role of The Artist in the 2020s”, “Same-Gender Affection Minus Heteronormativity”, “Toward a 2022 Research Agenda for Our Community”, “The Meaning of Post-Essex Hemphill HIV Activism”, “Harm Reduction Activism & Crystal Meth Use” and “Unpacking Black Gay Leadership & Vulnerability”— which is the session I was responsible for leading.  

After getting through some initial nervousness (and fear of technology failing me when I needed it most), I was able to breathe a bit easier. Once participants began to interact about the challenges we often face while navigating leadership roles as Black Gay men, not only did I feel relief, but it quickly dawned on me that we had only begun to scratch the surface of discussing how we allow ourselves the space to be vulnerable and honest about our need for support.

Upon returning to the main room with those who attended the other morning's presentation, it was clear that although we each had to select the sessions we attended, there were detailed notes and reflections shared by each group about what they experienced, which allowed for us all to gather insight on all sessions and subjects addressed. 

As varied as the subject matter may have been, of particular note for me were the takeaways shared by all, most of which led right back to each of us being reminded of the importance of our voice, presence, and willingness to show up and be our whole selves. By the end of that first day, it felt like we’d all taken a huge and important step in reshaping how we move forward individually and collectively. 

Day Two 

Upon returning to our virtual meeting space on Sunday morning (with a coffee cup in hand), it became clear that the best was yet to come. Using the same model opening with remarks and an icebreaker from Charles, we were then all introduced to the keynote speaker, Dr. Alexis Pauline Gumbs. It quickly became clear that both Charles and Dr. Gumbs had a longstanding friendship and bond, and the reverence between the two of them became the framing for a dialogue which centered around collective memory, the lives and contributions of those who came before us such as Melvin Dixon, Essex Hemphill and many more. Gumbs shared pieces of her journey about finding her way through the works of Black queer writers and creatives who came before us. Through the love in her words, she painted a vivid picture of what lies ahead of us as Black queer creatives today in the way of possibility, opportunity, and responsibility to continue the important work that has been done. As she shared her knowledge about the beautiful & sacred friendship between Audre Lorde and Joseph Beam, I felt an ancestral jolt—a charge from my Black gay ancestors. 

The keynote, which took place over a 45-minute virtual dialogue, felt like a Black queer “threading of the needle” that I desperately needed to light my way when I feel depleted. I was reminded implicitly that we come from a long and sacred lineage of Black queer people whose lives I can call upon and look to when I’ve lost my way, as so many of us oftentimes do. 

The rest of day two continued with four additional presentations facilitated over two breakout sessions. Some of the topics for the remaining sessions addressed: “Creating Support Systems for Healers In Our Community”, “How are Climate Change, Economic Uncertainty, and COVID-19 Impacting Our Sexual Practices?,” “Body Fascism & Penis Shaming” & “Developing A Political Agenda Around Pleasure.” 

Given all that was unpacked and shared over both days, it became very clear that we are the ones we’ve been waiting for. I felt a kinship among all of us regarding our collective desire to continue these necessary and important dialogues, each with one key thing in mind; the how. In keeping with the theme of this year’s Summit, it felt very much by design that we looked back, took stock of where we are, and envisioned what’s possible moving forward. Being a part of this experience, I felt a kinship among all of us regarding our collective desire to continue these necessary and important dialogues, each with one key thing in mind; the execution. We began the work of intentionally and carefully identifying how we get there. 

This year’s CNP Summit was ripe with opportunities and in the two days we all gathered, bonds were formed, ideas were shared, and we were all reminded how valuable each of our Black queer voices truly are. By its end, my marching orders were clear & I couldn’t be more grateful for having been part of such important legacy work. Below are a few reflections and quotes from fellow participants whose lives have been impacted as a result of participating in this year’s CNP Summit.

REFLECTIONS

Michael Ward

“The collective memory shared during the CNP summit is a reminder that I stand on the shoulders of some mighty Black gay ancestors. I’m constantly learning about a new ancestor or important work to the movement. The keynote speaker, Dr. Alexis Pauline Gumbs, was one of the highlights for me. She recalled Melvin Dixon’s powerful words, “I’ll be somewhere listening for my name.” I left the summit energized to continue doing cultural work that honors those before me and looks forward to our future.”

Joshua Henry Jenkins

“I walked into the CNP Summit as a first-timer who was open to wherever the conversations would lead us and with a hope to walk away with one or two things. What I got was way more than that. I received and witnessed a wealth of knowledge, a long, long, long list of ideas for projects and future work, and a restorative space that felt affirming and safe. I left inspired to keep moving and to move together alongside these brilliant minds and leaders.” 

Al Cunningham

“The CNP Summit solidified my sense that I've found a tribe to embrace and help me process some of my life's most profound challenges, especially arising from its single greatest trauma: HIV. In conjunction with my participation in CNP's Narrative Justice Working Group, the Summit provided an oasis to engage and share with a diverse, yet culturally homogeneous group. In particular, on the heels of two years’ worth of isolation, the opportunity to interact substantially was invaluable, both in the session I curated and the others. Following our leader's suggestion, I've had several felicitous virtual coffee dates and look forward to more, as well as the work ahead!”