For most, intimate partner violence (IPV), historically known as domestic violence, is defined as some form of physical abuse enacted on a woman by a man in their life—usually their husband or boyfriend. 

However, there is so much more to the issue that causes many experts to consider IPV an epidemic. 

The recent altercations between Grammy award winner Kanye West and social media influencer, Kim Kardashian, in the wake of their divorce proceedings have ignited a new conversation about IPV. 

According to Ruth Glenn, president, and CEO of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, the events surrounding West and Kardashian highlight the complications of people’s understandings and definitions of IPV, while at the same time shining a light on the contradictions and double standards.

“We are a society that is terrible at considering and protecting the victim,” Glenn told The Reckoning. “I have been following the developments and am amazed at how many people have tried to excuse his actions because of this label of musical genius and him being bipolar.”

Mental health, she said, can be a risk factor.

“But when you excuse the actions of the perpetrator and attempt to explain it away, and instead blame the victim, that is not okay,” she said, referencing comedian DL Hughley’s comments during a VLAD TV interview. “Whether or not he is a genius, and whether or not he has a mental health issue, why is he allowed to behave this way? Why are we saying we are okay with this?”

While the West/Kardashian saga has made the conversation regarding IPV more mainstream, Glenn, who has worked in the arena of awareness and prevention for more than 20 years, believes public discourse based on facts about IPV has never been more important for those working in the field. Everyone with a social media account is an expert, which is a breeding ground for misinformation and misconceptions. 

“There are a number of misconceptions,” she said. “One commonly held that it is exclusive to those who identify as heterosexual. We deal with a myriad of issues when it comes to IPV; most specifically intersectional issues and disparities in regards to the queer and Black community.”

The Problem Is Real 

According to the NCADV, Black LGBTQ+ individuals are more likely to experience physical violence than their peers. 

The data, according to Deidre Smith, community & crisis intervention advocate for LGBT Detroit, supports the fact. 

“The Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey reports that 1 in 4 women and nearly 1 in 10 men have experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime and reported some form of IPV-related impact,” she told The Reckoning via email. “LGBTQ people have an increased risk of intimate partner violence with reports from the Human Rights Campaign showing that 44% of lesbians and 61% of bisexual women experience rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner, compared to 35% of straight women.”

Within the last 10 years, Smith reports, 54% of transgender and non-binary individuals have experienced intimate partner violence. Data from the Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System show that while 5% of non-LGBTQ white youths have experienced some form of physical IPV, the number is 19% for Black respondents, second only to Native Americans at 20%. Asians make up 13% and Latino/a youth make up 16%.

However, Sarah Warbelow, legal director of the Human Rights Campaign, points out that the data is one of the biggest problems when trying to understand Black LGBTQ IPV. This is due, in part, to the fact that overall, there isn’t enough data. 

“The lack of data only gives us a glimpse, an inkling, into the whole story,” she told The Reckoning. “We suspect there is some under-counting and under-reporting. Historically, queer people are anxious about disclosing their gender identity and sexual preference. Plus, Black LGBTQ and Latinx communities have not always, and still do not, have positive relationships with law enforcement because of fears surrounding how they will be treated and whether they will be believed. And so, we know that people are just not reporting and going to law enforcement.”

To get true and good data, Warbelow believes there needs to be a national legislative buy-in. Non-discrimination protection, as well as new federal programs, and the financial support of organizations committed to outreach to vulnerable communities, are just a few examples she believes will help. The HRC has worked extensively to push for the federal government to provide more support and conduct more data collection. Suggestions for solutions involve including identifying questions on the US Census and other data collection campaigns. 

However, to get that support, decision-makers have to be convinced there is a problem. 

“The problem is real. But, it's hard to convince them there is a problem,” said Glenn. “Our work is focused on staying informed and making sure our audiences have the best information possible so that they can provide the best possible service. Rarely do we position ourselves as the experts. But we believe it is important to be aware. Being aware helps with awareness. Awareness helps with understanding the issues at hand.”

It is also imperative to understand the many facets of IPV, like understanding that it's not exclusive to the heterosexual community, but also that it's not exclusively physical violence. Intimate partner violence is sometimes overt, said Smith. Other times, it is not as overt as a bruise from physical assault. In some instances, IPV shows up in a social media post. And in other instances, the abuse is falsely excused as love. 

“Sometimes it's in the public humiliation, slander, or ridicule of a current or former partner. Other times gang stalking or harmful triangulating of others outside of the relationship can fuel the tensions within it,” added Smith. “For instance, one may call upon the participation of others in the taunting of a current or former mate. This can be done through smear campaigns and bullying.”

Social media influence has intensified this behavior to some degree. 

“Many times,” Smith continued, “It is the emotional or mental abuse before, during, or post-relationship that lingers on.”

However, as far as Glenn is concerned, as long as the influence of patriarchy remains prevalent in issues of violence, sexual identity, and sexual expression, IPV will remain taboo. 

“People do not understand because IPV is one of society’s hidden secrets. Victims don’t talk about it. I do not know one perpetrator who will come forward and talk about it,” she said. “So, someone like me, or other survivors, must raise our voices. Ninety percent of the time, that is how society gets educated, anyway.”