Go Get It: Inserting The Keys To Unlock The Life You Deserve In 2022
Like clockwork, the start of a new year is filled with resolutions, many of which are completely abandoned before the calendar enters the month of February. Without an internal assessment, a clear plan, and the necessary support to bring those plans to fruition, even the most hopeful among us often fail to meet personal goals set at the beginning of the year. But what if all you needed to thrive in 2022 was inside of you waiting to be unlocked? It’s not unimaginable that the keys might be hidden underneath two years of devastating loss, deteriorating mental health, and socio-economic challenges driven by the global pandemic. For many, January 1 marks the beginning of a clean slate—a do-over—another chance to get it right. But according to Atlanta-based holistic life coach Fonda Clayton, a clean slate is available for us to choose from every day.
“You can start a clean slate every day at every moment. Every moment that we get to live, every word that I say is a new moment,” Clayton says.
A New York City native, and a married straight LGBTQ+ ally, Clayton tells The Reckoning that there is power in manifestation and intentionality.
“I want people to feel hope that they can do it, that they have everything they need, everything that they want is inside of them. It's just about finding where the keys are and where the locks are. And that's what manifestation truly is at the core. Because if you believe it, it's true. And nothing that anyone can say will change it unless you change your mind,” she says.
A former massage therapist, Clayton credits her past clients for putting her on the path towards becoming a life coach after a year-long training intensive at LifeWorks School of Coaching.
“We've come from source. We've come from God; infinite intelligence that knows all into this body. But then we get spiritual, and we try to bypass it, ‘Oh, the body's not important.’ What? This [childbirth] was a hard job. Our mamas almost died to get us here. So let's honor the body.”
- Fonda Clayton
“People would be on the massage table and they would have these releases,” Clayton says. “They'd be crying. They'd be in some past moment or they'd be devastated. They'd be wiped out because you're in someone's auric field and you're unlocking their chakras,” she says, referring to the channels in the body that if blocked can cause stress and other conditions. “I wanted a way to support them so they didn't have to go back out into the world and put those things away as if they didn't just experience the moment they experienced.”
For Clayton, who jokingly equates her coaching style to shoe shopping: “You ain't gotta make no commitments. But if there's something you love, find a way to take them out of the store with you without having to go to jail,” she says. But as easily as Clayton infuses humor into her coaching, she’s equally serious about clients being in tune with their body as much as their mind to create the life they desire.
“We've come from source. We've come from God; infinite intelligence that knows all into this body. But then we get spiritual, and we try to bypass it,” she says. "‘Oh, the body's not important.’ What? This [childbirth] was a hard job. Our mamas almost died to get us here. So let's honor the body. The body has wisdom. We’re always trying to bypass it and get to the brain. And my job is to get people to take the elevator down. Your heart aches when you have a breakup. It literally aches. Can we pay attention to that? Can we honor that? Let's not bypass it.”
The Queer Human Condition
Clayton has built a practice focused boldly and unapologetically on supporting feminine expression in women. And while she says she has “unofficially coached queer people” of all genders, Clayton says she doesn’t remember a time when she wasn’t immersed in the Black LGBTQ+ community.
“To be fair. I think society sucks, but I love humanity,” she says. “I'm doing all I can to be a conduit of spirit. I love the hope of people. I'm just deeply curious about the human condition, and it’s none of my business how a person loves.”
Clayton tells The Reckoning that when coaching LGBTQ+ clients she consistently observed “the grief that gets carried,” which she says is “almost like a vagabond where they have their handkerchief and they have their stick. They're always carrying it,” she says.
Based on her experience, Clayton says there’s an assumption that LGBTQ+ people are going to be “negated, canceled or unseen in some way.”
“I'm doing all I can to be a conduit of spirit. I love the hope of people. I'm just deeply curious about the human condition, and it’s none of my business how a person loves.”
- Fonda Clayton
“As I've tried to wear what being queer in this climate, in this society would feel… it feels like sexism… it feels like racism,” she says. “But it feels like racism squared because you might get dead just from existing. And so I wear that lens whenever I'm speaking to someone from [the LGBTQ+] community because I understand the tiredness that exists before your feet hit the ground.”
Having examined her cishet privilege as a Black woman in the African-American community, with an understanding of intersectionality and how it impacts Black queer people, Clayton is clear about why other Black cishet people frequently contribute to the grief experienced by their Black queer brothers and sisters.
“They'd have to assume responsibility,” she says. “This is why racism exists because they'd have to assume responsibility and they'd have to be willing to give up some of their privilege.”
While we cannot control the actions of others, Clayton says there are steps Black LGBTQ+ people can take in the New Year to release the baggage that may hinder them from thriving and achieving personal goals.
Meditation
“First and foremost is meditation. What you’re looking to do is shut down the mind. You have to get out of your mind in order to gain the freedom that you're seeking. Even if it’s in a breath.”
Be Open To Receiving
“Black folks, we don’t know how to receive. We believe in the doctrine that it is better to give than to receive. And that's bullshit, because if you don't know how to receive and I'm giving you something, then you've messed it up for both of us. If you can't receive, then life happens to you instead of for you.”
I AM
“Words are spells. We have to use them wisely. I AM… anything that comes behind that is your declaration. I AM love. Whatever you can believe. But if you say you're tired, how can you ever feel exuberant throughout the day? You just said you're tired, so your body has to follow, right?”
Scripting
“Scripting is like a vision board but writing. And you’re writing as if it’s already happened. You are declaring it so. It’s a small scribe, even if you write the same thing every single day, eventually, if you line up with it then it has to be so.”
No Is A Complete Sentence
“Period.”
Look Forward
“If it was necessary for us to look in the past, we'd have eyes back there. We do not. Look forward. If something bad happened to you, acknowledge that, but don't wait for that person. If a person did it to you, don't wait for them to suffer for you to rejoice. Take your power back.”
