Bravo Invites Black Matchmakers Into Spotlight In LGBTQ Inclusive Reality Series ‘Love Match Atlanta’
Dating in Atlanta is serious business. While many singles are swiping left or right on dating apps to find their person, those who can afford to are turning to Atlanta’s elite matchmakers to find love. And Black gay men are no exception.
On “Love Match Atlanta,” the new reality show debuting on Bravo on May 8, viewers are given a look into the professional and personal lives of a group of highly-sought after matchmakers as they use their charm and skill to compete for the hearts and dollars of Black Atlanta’s most eligible singles. The cast includes professional matchmakers and business owners Ming Clark, Joseph Dixon, Kelli Fisher, Tana Gilmore, and Shae Primus.
In a city that has developed a reputation for simultaneously being an oasis of Black wealth and opportunity, and for some Black gay men, a consistent disappointment where quantity outweighs quality in terms of finding a potential partner, the dating experiences of both gay and straight singles in Atlanta provides more than enough source material for the one-hour show.
Lamont White, owner of Better Way To Meet, an Atlanta-based gay matchmaking service, is a friend to the show and appears on several episodes during the first season along side Primus. White says he is hopeful that the inclusion of Black gay men on “Love Match Atlanta” will be a game-changer in terms of Black queer representation on television.
“I want to show a different narrative of Black gay men who are successful, who are in healthy relationships, who raise children, who are committed, that has not been seen before,” White says, whose own life as a married man raising two children with his husband reflects the life many of his clients desire.
“It does change the narrative of what people typically think about gay men,” Primus says. “These people are serious and they're serious about finding love. They're paying a matchmaker to help them find love. That says a whole lot.”
The owner of Middle Class Matchmaker, Primus, who identifies as straight and is the mother of two children, is an LGBTQ+ ally and is frequently seen on screen with White. Primus says the two maintain a friendship that transcends the stereotypical friendship commonly seen between straight Black women and gay men on television.
“When you see our chemistry on the show, it is magnetic. We make each other laugh. We are hilarious together,” she said. “Lamont is successful on his own. He is a matchmaker. He's killing the game in this city. We just happen to be matchmakers and he just happens to be my friend. But it’s not like, ‘oh she has a gay best friend.’ I don't want it to look like that because that's not what it is,” she adds.
Both matchmakers tell The Reckoning that their casting on the show happened after their work caught the attention of executives at Bravo.
“They literally called me randomly and I thought it was a joke,” White said.
“There are only a handful of people who actually work with gay men in the United States for matchmaking. So I thought it was amazing that they reached out to say, hey, let's talk about how the gays find love in Atlanta. I think it is amazing that some of that will be showcased.”
Uncomfortable Conversations
With the price tag for matchmakers reaching into six-figures on the high end, Primus, who primarily works with straight singles at Middle Class Matchmaker, says it was important for her to keep her prices within reach for the average person.
“It's not because I can't charge more, but I'm specifically trying to reach the average person,” she said. “And if my prices are too high, I can't reach them. And then what am I doing here?”
In order to work with Primus, clients are required to see a therapist to gauge their mental readiness to begin the journey to find love.
“They all go through therapy. I need to make sure that you are emotionally, mentally, ready for a relationship,” Primus says. “ If you're still dealing with heartbreak and you're still crying over your ex and you're still stalking his page—you're not ready. You're not ready to date. You're not ready to love. And I want to make sure that everyone that I encounter is open and ready for love.”
Ashley Cobb, an Atlanta-based sex writer (Gossip and Gasms) is one of Primus’ clients and is featured in the first episode. Primus’ description of Cobb as not fitting the “stereotypical Atlanta aesthetic” during their first meeting on-screen has the potential for endless tweets, think-pieces, and Primus’ first brush with being a television personality in a social media culture driven by 280 character hot-takes. Primus tells The Reckoning that she is aware of how her comment about Cobb may be misconstrued.
“My comment about her not fitting the typical Atlanta aesthetic was about the booties, the hair, and the lashes— that look that you typically think of when you think of women here,” Primus says. “It was that part. It had nothing to do with her complexion at all. She didn't have the Eurocentric baddie look. That's what I was trying to go for and I did not articulate that well, “ she said. “I do not want people to mistake that for [anti-Blackness].”
“I’m aware that I have a bald head, I'm dark skinned, I have glasses and I have full lips,” Cobb says. “I'm aware of this fact. I'm also aware that a lot of men like the Instagram look, but I also know there's people who like what I look like,” she adds.
Cobb tells The Reckoning that her personal aesthetic hasn’t been the most challenging aspect of dating in Atlanta that led her to seek help from Primus—it was her career as a sex writer.
“Part of the matchmaking process is you have to have uncomfortable conversations with your clients sometimes, and you have to set realistic expectations. This is the matchmaking process. And sometimes having those conversations with clients doesn’t feel good.”
“They’re intrigued [by my career]. But I think Black men are church adjacent, even those that don’t go to church,” she said. “They view what I do and porn in the same category, even though it's not. That has been my issue more so than not looking like the stereotypical Instagram model.”
Viewers will have the opportunity to see Cobb’s experience on three dates, one of which is with an openly bisexual Black man.
White says the exchange between Primus and Cobb can often be a part of the matchmaking process, which isn’t always as beautiful as it appears on the outside.
“Part of the matchmaking process is you have to have uncomfortable conversations with your clients sometimes, and you have to set realistic expectations,” he said. “This is the matchmaking process. And sometimes having those conversations with clients doesn't feel good. The reason why I call myself the gay dating coach is because I coach guys, and Shae does the same thing. She coaches her clients to make sure they are marketable so that they can find everlasting love. And sometimes that hurts.”
The Science of Matchmaking
When choosing a matchmaker, White says, clients typically want to know a matchmaker’s professional qualifications and if they’re in a successful relationship. Primus is recently single, a fact that fellow cast member Joseph Dixon, (who is not professionally certified) reminds viewers in the first episode as a way to seemingly discredit Primus’ effectiveness (she has a 90% success rate) as a matchmaker by saying she “looks bad for not being in a good thriving relationship.”
“He looks bad because he's chosen someone that's not a good match,” Primus fires back. “What does that say about your matchmaking skills?”
White believes that Primus’ current relationship status uniquely positions her to better understand and serve her clients while putting to rest the notion that a single matchmaker immediately disqualifies them from being effective.
“You do not have to be in a relationship to be a good matchmaker. What makes you a good matchmaker is the ability to help people find love. Period. We go through school, we learn how to do it, we learn how to match. We have the skills to do that.”
“She is putting herself out there and she teaches clients—this is how you put yourself out there and she does it. She is searching for love. She is taking the risk and you will see how she does it eloquently,” he said.
“You do not have to be in a relationship to be a good matchmaker, “Primus says. “What makes you a good matchmaker is the ability to help people find love. Period. We go through school, we learn how to do it, we learn how to match. We have the skills to do that,” she adds.
“Matchmaking is a business and it is a ministry all in the same,” White says. “There is science behind matchmaking. It is not just what your gut says.”
“Love Match Atlanta” premieres on Sunday, May 8 at 9 p.m. ET/PT on Bravo. The series will stream on Peacock the day following its Bravo telecast. Watch the trailer here.
