It was with these words that poet Audre Lorde began her groundbreaking 1982 work “Zami: A New Spelling of My Name”, in the process launching earning a reputation as a master poet and black lesbian literary icon that has endured years after her death.
The podcasting industry is experiencing a renaissance. Podcasts centering content created by the community, for the community, are difficult to discover on popular podcast apps like Apple, Spotify, and Google unless you hear about them through word of mouth. Many learned the amount some podcasters were earning when it was reported that Spotify inked a deal with Joe Rogan for more than $100 million. For Black LGBTQ+ folks in the space, deals like Rogan’s are not on the table or even a possibility. Anna DeShawn, co-founder of The Qube app, is on a quest to change that.
If you’ve never visited Chicago, you’ve probably still heard of the South Side. Giants of Black culture and liberation have called the South Side their home—Common, Michelle Obama, Kanye West, and Fred Hampton are folks from the sprawling section of the city—the largest of the three sections of Chicago. So, even if the name is unfamiliar, you’ve undoubtedly felt the effect of people who are from there.
The South Side is also home to DeShawn, who grew up in a working middle-class household with both parents. Because her father was a dean and coach, DeShawn tells The Reckoning that leadership lessons were all around her.
Walking down the aisle at his grand 2015 wedding, Nathaniel Holley had plenty of reason to feel proud: The Morehouse College graduate had secured both a successful career as a Washington DC-area paralegal, and the love of his life. Holley and his partner marked the occasion with a splashy $50,000 ceremony, complete with 125 guests to witness it all.
Their split, finalized just four years later, was a much quieter affair.
Finances had become a sore spot. The men argued, often. Soon, Holley felt forced to choose between the relationship and his sanity. He moved out on New Year’s Day 2019.
“I didn’t have any more fight left in me,” says Holley, 35. “I just realized that wasn’t the life I wanted anymore.”
For years, legal marriage has been exalted in the LGBTQ+ community, held up as an ultimate mark of social acceptance and stability. Yet while many consider same-sex marriage the ultimate fairy tale ending for LGBTQ+ couples, reality has proven otherwise: Less than a decade after the landmark Obergefell v. Hodges ruling secured marriage equality for millions of LGBTQ+ men and women across the nation, their divorce rates have neared those of heterosexual couples. Among lesbians, in particular, some studies suggest rates may be even higher.
Takia Canty, 40, is aware that lesbians have a reputation for moving quickly into relationships. She hadn’t dated her then-girlfriend Nastassja Canty, 38, a full month before she was certain that Nastassja would be her wife. To many onlookers, their relationship appeared to be moving at lightning speed, but for the Canty’s, the whirlwind romance that led them down the aisle in an intimate Las Vegas ceremony in June—after being introduced by a mutual acquaintance in 2004—and then losing contact for 17 years, felt like fate.
“It was an underlying attraction between us that we never played on,” said Takia, who tells The Reckoning that both women were in relationships when they initially met but waited until those relationships ended before they explored their mutual attraction.
“And then I kind of slid in her DM, maybe three or four years later. But I was tipsy,” Takia jokingly recalls.
The DM from Takia to Nastassja (pronounced N ah - S t ah - S ee - ah) was short. She simply wrote: “Missing you.”
Before meeting her wife, Paulette Martin worried about aging alone.
She was 40, single, and recently out to her children. What she knew was that she didn’t want to become a burden in her golden years. She was worried about who would take on the responsibility of caring for her.
Fast forward some years, Paulette moved from Hawaii to New York in 2014. She desired connections with other Black LGBTQ elders and heard of SAGE, a national organization committed to advocacy and services for LGBTQ elders. They were having a party and needed volunteers for setup. It was also where she met Pat, her wife of four years.
“I was helping to put together swag bags for the party which Pat was hosting,” Paulette told The Reckoning. “As we were putting things together, I noticed that people were talking over Pat.”
Somewhat frustrated, she spoke up.
“I told them you all should submit to Pat. She knows what she is doing. I didn’t even know her.”
