At 52 years old, Jay Torrence, better known to most as Jay King Holliday, considers himself an orphan.

In the last 10 years, the co-creator and co-founder of the annual spring break gathering, Big Boy Pride, has had to bury both his mother and father. His father, whom he admits he hadn’t always had the closest relationship with, died from cancer in October 2012. His mother, and the person he still considers his best friend, died suddenly in December 2019.

“There is something really confusing about it—being without both of my parents at 52. I am a 52-year-old orphan,” he proclaimed to The Reckoning. “It doesn’t seem that it should be as impactful as it is, but it is—coming to terms with the reality that I’ve lost a lot of my legacy. The people who connect me to my history are no longer present.”

Most of those who have experienced the loss of a parent admit that it changes them. The pain never goes away, and the loss creates an unfillable void. For Holliday, a New York native now residing in Atlanta, the losses have had a unique effect on him. Prior to his father’s passing, they had time to heal.